Some might deny it but I think if we're honest...no-one really wants to use public transport. Even factoring in the eco/carbon footprint thing.
Buses, generally are quite unpleasant. But really it's not even down to the actual buses, or the journies themselves. It's those actually on the bus that contribute to the agony of the experience. As usual, it's a few people spoiling it for the rest of us....largely by not following The Rules Of The Bus!
The Rules - just a few of them
Have the money/pass ready. Most of the time you will have to wait at the bus stop before it gets there. You know you have to pay/show your pass. So have it ready rather than spend time & delaying everyone by faffing about in our purse or bag, looking for said money or pass like it's a surprise that you have to produce this!!
Open a window! You are not going to die of cold. The windows are tiny and let in Nice Fresh Air. This is handy in enabling us to breathe something other than "Eau de Soap Dodger" (very common in the morning) and allowing the bus to carry slightly less germs than it normally would. Some people seem confused about when it is appropriate to open a window. However usually if the windows of the bus are steamed up, or the bus smells...that is a good sign that it's time to take the plunge & open one up.
If there is a seat...TAKE IT! And if you have to stand...don't stand in the bit right by the door...unless there is no room or you are getting off at the next stop. People need to get past you! Same goes for the Rucksack Brigade. Great that you can put the contents of a small flat in your bag but please take it off your back when you get on the bus...it's like having two people in the gangway & not one!
Do not sit on the outside seat if the inner one is empty. Why would you need to do that? This is highly irritating for other passengers. Yes, you might not want to sit next to anyone & think that will put people off - it might, but it also might encourage people to deliberately piss you off by making you move. You also might do it so that you can put your bag on the inner seat but please remember that your bag has not paid a fare.
When a double seat becomes free and you have more than one stop to your journey...move into the free seats, do not remain sitting next to someone. No need. Also, do not sit next to someone when there is already a double seat free when you get on. Sitting next to someone you don't know, when there's these free seats available is annoying and frankly a little bit weird!
Don't stare at people or scowl at them or smile at them in a creepy way.
There are also "Givens" on a bus...these include the following
There will always be someone that reeks of drink or fags that gets on or is already on. Evenings you will usually get at least one completely wasted person on the bus. A lot of the time it will seem that they always sit next to you and try to talk to you. Try not to be alarmed.
Someone will be talking in loud detail on their mobile. Usually it's of a highly personal nature that they seem to have no shame in talking about in a public place - or they are intellectually challenged & fail to realise we can all hear! These conversations have a dual reaction, swithering between the "I can't believe they're talking so loud, can't they be a bit quieter" thought to "no, don't get off, I want to hear what happens" thought. Usually a mix of the two,
At at least one bus stop a performance of the "After You" dance will take place. Very annoying. Lovely that you're all being so polite & observing bus etiquette of the "first come, first on" policy....but really, we are all waiting...just get on the fecking bus so we can get on with the journey.
No journey will take place without at least one person getting on that hasn't a clue where they're going & will spend 5 mins in conversation with the driver. This is most common, of course, with tourists. When it comes to families...there is a "designated spokesperson" - usually the Dad - that seems to be the only person that speaks English. They do the asking, then they have to relay it to the wife & kids and tafter that, and only then will they all embark!
There will be a sweet old dear that gets on that has that kind of old lady "pot pourri" smell on her...mixed with humbugs!
Someone will start up an inappropriate conversation with you.
Oh the joys...public transport is great and as a non driver, I certainly couldn't do without it. But...I'd still rather not be on it!
